Another year and another Mother’s Day to face and manage. Mother’s Day for bereaved mothers is one of the hardest days of the year. The lead up to the date and the afterwards can be just as hard as the day itself. The pain aches, stabs and burns deep within us. We want to be able to have those photo’s taken with our families complete too. We want our children smiling, making memories also. We want something for Mother’s Day that we can never have, our child alive and breathing.
The list of reasons we all found ourselves here are endless, tragically joining a group which no one ever wishes to belong to, that of grieving mothers.
To all the Mum’s who have cared for their terminally ill child and held their dying body in their arms, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who have had to organise and arrange a funeral and then bury their child, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who have had to face their child been killed suddenly by accident, or violence or suicide, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who have suffered the loss of their baby, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who have suffered a miscarriage, I see you.
To all the Mum’s learning to navigate life without their precious child, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who live and struggle in a society that can’t know or understand how to treat us, talk to us or support us, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who are dealing with the excruciating ongoing and shattering collateral damage, which the death of a child creates, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who are having to adapt to numerous secondary losses, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who are suffering extreme and debilitating isolation and loneliness due to child loss, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who are feeling abandoned and lost because most of the people they love and know, unable to cope themselves, have walked away, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who will struggle immensely over the next week with the lead up to Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day itself, I see you.
To all the Mum’s managing trauma and the resulting triggers, be it predictable or unpredictable triggers, I see you
To all the Mum’s dealing with other dates and milestones, I see you.
To all the Mum’s who have health problems resulting from their grief, I see you.
To all the exhausted Mum’s who haven’t had a decent nights’ sleep since before their child died, or in the case of a sick child, since they were diagnosed, I see you.
To all the brave Mum’s who are doing their best living in their worst nightmare every single day, I see you.
To all the newly bereaved Mum’s, I see you.
To all the Mum’s living with broken and shattered families, I see you.
To all of the beautiful Mum's who are on this never ending journey, I see you. How I wish none of us were doing this. It SUCKS.
To everyone else, please think of, consider and be there for the bereaved Mum's in your lives. You don't need to understand, realistically you are unable to, due to the complexities. If you have children, look at them and remind yourselves, this could happen to anyone at any given time. Please don't run from that horrible recognition, it is nothing compared to what bereaved parents everywhere endure daily. Instead of thinking, I can't imagine what it must be like to suffer the death of a child, remind yourself how much you love and cherish your children. And then using that emotion, lean in and use that powerful love to support bereaved parents.
Sending much love, empathy, peace, kindness and a gentle place to rest for all bereaved Mum's on Mother's Day. You are not alone.